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The frame-story set-up here is that a nutso screenwriterplayed by Dennis Quaidhas conned his way into the office of a bigwig movie producer (Greg Kinnear), whom he holds at gunpoint whilst describing the various sordid and gonzo scenes in his script, which he promises will be "this century's Howard the Duck." The infamous George Lucas-produced flop was once described by Leonard Maltin as a "hopeless mess...a gargantuan production which produces a gargantuan headache," and the same can be said of Movie 43's asinine sketches.
The first stars Kate Winslet as a well-to-do socialite who gets set up on a blind date at a fancy restaurant with New York's most eligible bachelor (Hugh Jackman), a lawyer who volunteers for the Special Olympics and who appears on the cover of "Gotham" magazine with the headline, "Why is this man still single? He unintentionally rubs his neck-nuts against Winslet's cheek while they pose uncomfortably for a picture.
The same goes for "Superhero Speed Dating," featuring Batman (SNL's Jason Sudekis) playing Cyrano de Bergerac to his Robin (Justin Long), who's struggling in his speed-dating rounds with Super Girl (Kristen Bell) and Lois Lane (Uma Thurman)." Spoiler alert: It's because he has a big hairy scrotum hanging below his chin. And that's the gist of most of the segments; start with an oh no they didn't gimmick and repeat the gag ad nauseum. Take the sketch with Parks and Rec's Chris Pratt, who goes to propose to his girlfriend (Anna Faris) only to find out that her greatest sexual desire is to be pooped on.(Cue the inevitable laxatives-and-burritos joke.) Or the bit with Kick Ass' Chlo Grace Moretz as a junior high girl who gets her first period on her first date, bleeding all over the couch and walls at her horrified boyfriend's house.Movie 43 is already being hailed as one of the worst Hollywood movies everand you'll hear no objection from mebut keep in mind that it's bad bad, not so-bad-it's-good bad. Bad as in I need to watch something else as a cinematic palette cleanser after that bad.Worse, the next time you see Kate Winslet, Naomi Watts, Halle Berry, or Richard Gere in some prestige drama, you're gonna think of them in Movie 43, utterly humiliating themselves.